Only a Moment
by Zinala
Summary: The pathetic slouch to her form was disconcerting; they had always thought Hawke to be hard as stone, unmovable. But even she breaks at the realization of being alone. Fenris/F!Hawke. Spoilers for a few key parts, so read at your own risk.


**A/N: **So this really didn't come out how I wanted it. I feel it really isn't great, especially in comparison to others out there, but I admit I'm just very eager to start writing again. I'll probably end up re-working it a bit later. But I meant for this to just be a one-shot, and slightly romantic but nothing too overt. Anyways, read the authors note at the end of the chapter, please! Also, Fenris may seem a bit OOC. Not like extremely…I guess it's better to say that I don't feel I've captured his essence as well as others…but I guess that's for you guys to decide.

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"Mother…" Her voice was eerily quiet as she dropped her hand to brush hair out of her mothers face. "Oh no, mother!" her voice is louder as she placed a kiss over her brow, closing the lids over the woman's lifeless eyes. Her companions stared in shock at seeing her so broken…shock at the death of the sweet woman they'd known as Leandra Hawke.

It was surreal for them all, the young Hawke – _last_ Hawk - holding the slack form in her arms. Tears were streaming down her bold features, a pained expression where she usually held a stern one. It had never occurred to them that she would fail in saving her. So they decided to stay put as the young woman mourned the last of her family…the one that had given her life.

And stay they did, for maybe an hour, comforted only by the wails of their leader. Her sorrowful cries told that she at least lived. Her broken heart had not yet destroyed her.

* * *

"I've nothing left to lose, you know." Her voice was dejected, far too sad a note carried in her usually brash voice. He was wordless as he continued to advance on her slumped form. "It was bad enough that I saw my baby brother destroyed by an ogre…that I had to drive a knife through my own sister's heart. But then to see her – my own mother, mutilated and lifeless, just like a walking corpse…" She tried to suppress a sob. "It's like I'm the bringer of destruction." She turned to him with bloodshot eyes.

The former slave didn't know what to do. He was not used to being in the stronger position against anyone – much less their seemingly indestructible leader. "I admit I'm at a loss for words." Was all he could supply as he stood before her bed. She just gave an awful, sneering huff.

"I do not know why you come here, elf. I thought you'd dance with glee at the death of another mage, be it my sister or the man that cost my mother her life." Deep in her heart though, she knew that wasn't true. She knew that she had found a friend in the elf, as much as any of her other companions, if not more so.

"Hawke…" he started, trying his hardest not to get angry with her snapping remark. She was in pain, and she didn't need his criticizing. "I don't relish the thought of your mother's death. No matter the circumstances. Same goes for Bethany…" he said her name with hesitation, for fear of bringing back even more painful memories.

"Don't you dare speak her name!" Her tired eyes narrowed. "It's people like _you._" Her voice sounded venomous. "This hatred and fear…it's a double edged sword. Just as everyone cowered from her magic, she cowered from them!" She stood abruptly. "The only reason she ever went into those Maker forsaken taverns was out of fear of all of you fools! Your fear and hatred drove her on this quest. That she would rather face darkspawn than her own people is despicable." She paced before him, ranting as she recounted the loss of her sister those years ago.

He felt a churn in his gut, one he was unfamiliar with as she spouted off nonsensical words with a crazed look in her eye. Instinctively, he put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. She was a wreck, and he didn't know what he could do to help her. Ever since that they shared just a few weeks back, the pair was finding it harder to really talk as they used to.

"Hawke…" he hesitated, "I am not so good at these kinds of things as you know…but I am here for you." She gave him a look and stopped talking. And before he knew it, she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his chest unabashedly. He just stroked her hair as she let it out, occasionally letting out muffled 'I'm sorry' and 'you didn't deserve that'.

"I know what I said was…wrong. It came from anger…sadness." She tried to wipe away her tears. "I've never felt anything like this…even a blade through my flesh would be more welcome than…"she faltered, searching for a word to convey how she was feeling. She gave up with a sigh and settled for speaking, "I feel as though someone has thrust their hand into my chest and gave my heart an increasingly tighter squeeze until it just burst…I'm the last of my blood, Fenris. The last Hawke." She said the last part softly and grabbed him into her again, just resting her head over his heart. He usually didn't like physical touch, but with her, at this time, it was enough to bring a slight smile to his lips.

"What about Gamlen?" This earned a half-hearted chuckle.

"He is not family…I never knew him really. We had no ties to my mother's family as we were growing up. They didn't approve of her marriage to an apostate – a Fereldan one no less. And that's what our lives revolved around: their magic." She didn't sound resentful…more wistful, as though thinking of happier days. "But to answer…Gamlen…he just doesn't feel like family. Family is about more than the blood that fuels your being…" she gave a sigh and looked up to him.

He couldn't help but to look at the way her lips were parted just slightly as she thought on what she was going to say next.

"I know you said it was too much, being with me…" She had always said she'd never be the woman to swoon over a man so; never be the woman to ask a man to stay, but her pride was already wounded during her display of grief. He smiled to her as she looked away slightly, cheeks tinting red.

He put his finger under her chin and pulled her face closer to his, planting a chaste kiss on the bridge of her nose, then another equally soft one on her lips. "I am here for you." He said as he pulled her close once more.

And she smiled at this, thinking that maybe it was okay to show her weakness, because he would always be there to keep her safe when she couldn't do so herself.

"…Just hold me." She said soft as a whisper as she listened to the beat of his heart. And for a second, her own broken one seemed alive once more.

Even if only for a moment, she basked in the comfort his arms brought.

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**A/N: **Okay so it is a bit choppy, I feel…but the part where Hawke rants about Bethany is what this story came from. I just had that little part in my head, and this is how I worked it into something. I hope you get that her not making sense is due to her grief and whatnot. And also, I purposefully avoided detailing Hawke as I wanted you, the readers, to be able to imagine your own Hawke there if you pleased.

Well, feedback would be awesome! And if I overlooked any errors, please do tell…I tend to do that sometimes.


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